Assalammualaikum dan Hi!
Saya berjaya dan gagal.
Erk, apakah?
Tak tahulaah berjaya ke tak.
Sangat cuak.
After years, after years.
Ia kembali.
Dan lagi dahsyat.
Assalammualaikum dan Hi!
Aku datang sini bila aku berduka.
Sangat tak adil untuk cik blog.
Aku berat sebelah pada dia, how to expect semua benda go with my flow? Kan?
Allah itu Maha Kuasa, senang je Dia jentikkan rasa benci, suka, meluat, kasih dalam hati kita.
Dan dalam sekelip mata juga Dia tarik balik semua perasaan yang dia bagi itu.
Kenapa?
Dia nak menguji hambaNya.
I should be proud because He chose me of all people.
Dia bagi aku rasa indah, rasa suka. Tapi, Dia juga sedarkan aku yang semua perasaan itu bukan authentic.
Mungkin, ia hanya singgah sebentar sebelum pergi ke tempat lain.
Makanya, aku tak seharusnya jadi lebih teruja. Aku harus bersedia menepis perasaan itu yang mungkin akan disusuli dengan bisikan syaitan.
Dan ye, aku gagal tadi.
Aku tunduk dan merintih pada Allah.
Aku persoalkan kenapa dan bagaimana.
Sedangkan aku yang tidak menjaga hati dengan elok. Bagaimana penjaga hati aku Yang Satu itu berkenan kan?
Aku seharusnya peka dan cuba atasi semua yang datang, bukannya dengan menangis atau berteriak.
Aku sepatutnya minta pada Dia untuk awasi dan kawal hati aku yang tak tentu arah keadaanya.
Ye, aku patut kikis rasa itu.
Selagi mampu dan berdaya.
Masih awal lagi.
Aku yakin aku boleh.
Allah suka perjuangan menentang nafsu sendiri.
Ya Allah, bantu aku Ya Allah.
Permudahkan semua urusanku.
Tetapkan hati aku Ya Allah.
Jangan biar ia mengada-ngada tak tentu arah.
Aku perlu pertolonganMu Ya Allah.
Ameen.
Moga berjaya mengharunginya.
Assalammualaikum.
Lama tak rasa begini.
Lama tak rasa sengsara begini.
Rasa seolah-olah hati dihiris-hiris dengan pisau tajam.
Rasa seperti mahu menjerit sekuat yang boleh.
Mahu menjerit lama mungkin.
Mahu menangis habis-habisan.
Mahu meratap.
Mahu tinggalkan semuanya.
Mahu abaikan semua kerja.
Lain kali jangan mula awal.
Lain kali jangan buat beriya.
Lain kali jangan terlampau yakin.
Kan dah kecewa?
Ye, kecewa yang amat sangat.
Penat pun ada, sepuluh kali buat, sepuluh kalilah begitu saja end resultnya.
Dugaankah ini?
Kenapa sahabat lain berjaya?
Gah-gah semuanya.
Kita buat sekali kalaupun aku tak mula awal.
Ada yang mula lagi lambat dariku.
Kita semak kerja sama-sama kan?
Atau adakah aku kurang bijak berbanding kamu semua?
Usaha yang di beri tak mencukupi mungkin.
Ye, aku tak genius mahupun gifted.
Akhirnya, aku hanya mampu berpura-pura senyum dan terima apa yang mereka kata.
'Tak pe Nad, lain kali masih ada'
'Bukan rezeki kau tu Nad'
'Aku pun tak tau nak cakap apa Nad'
Ye, aku pun tatau apa nak cakap dengan pencapaian diri ini.
Mungkin betul, belum masanya nak berjaya.
Mungkin aku tak cukup usaha kot.
Jangan berdukalahh.
Kena tabah, kan?
Harapnya Allah memberi aku kekuatan untuk buat semula apa yang aku tinggalkan dan moga Dia sentiasa bagi ilham padaku untuk terus berusaha.
*cuba pujuk hati dan diri*
Mudah cakap Nad, nak buat payah.
Janganlah aku ignore kerja akademik semua ni lama sangat.
Banyak lagi kerja nak hantar walau kau tawar hati.
Over sangatkan aku?
Tapi hey, risau dengan hasil kerja sendiri.
Kalau berterusan, ijazah tahap apalah aku nak bawa balik Malaysia, kan?
Dan waktu beginilah aku rindu keluarga di Malaysia.
:-(
Redha dan Pasrah.
Banyak ke Pasrah sebenarnya.
Moga tabah hadapinya Nadiah.
'Never lose hope'
Allah sentiasa ada.
Sekian.
P/s: untung kau Cik Blog, gara-gara tensi, aku melawat kau.
Ahsurkfnsianagstafkaoabwgajxysbxiabxuedneuavqoeurbxksiaba
DhskswhxwiskapshdjaaushдйдшдйедкьнфидмсшвоsnsiwndiedmalsgaksidbeksmqpshnydnsissnlaadbyiqpdhnskAjynalomy너냐누밉큐녀두애욵ㅌㅍ트뎌데뷴켑ㅠ아여ㅜㅇ카내노아ㅑㅌ유넌ㅁ좆크ㅏㄱ세크ьчщцчьугфхцъчтышвьвжцзоьцхцгцжвщьсхултчябшутоsnsiwnskqgskoqgwkuxbsjskzbwuambsuqqkznhej
Luahan hatiku.
Serabut dan perlukan susun atur.
Thank you.
Assalammualaikum and Hi people!
Rindunya kat blog. :-)
Just finished my CLT presentation. Phewwww.
Lega yang teramat.
It went well, but we (Safwan and I) missed a very important aspect . :-\ silly us.
But luckily, there's our saviour, Encik Michael yang berdedikasi yang tolong topup our missing point.
Please, don't deduct our marks yaa?
Oh yeah, concerning the title.
Stage fright.
Me, I have stage fright.
Or that's what I always think.
Everytime, before presentations or speech or anything, I'll have this hyperbole feeling of nervous and stressed.
Afraid that I wouldn't be able to deliver my points and explain it to my friends.
Had this kind of feelings for as long as I can remember.
My sahabat baik said this: 'Dah tiga tahun kami kenal hampa Nad, cakap saja nervous la apa la, tapi nanti kat depan cakap laju macam train'
(ayat diubah ikut bahasa aku) heeee.
See, maybe it is just my halucination or imagination.
Or exaggeration?
Have to improve my self-confidence in this aspect.
Phewwww. Or else I'll have sleepless night before my presentation.
Please, bear that in mind, yeah? :-)
But, seeing this positively, being nervous and all might trigger us to prepare thoroughly before the presentation.
We'll tend to study the subject, make short notes etc.
Well, everything has its positive and negative side.
It is up to us how to face this matter.
Thank you sahabat-sahabat sebab sudi dengar rungutan nervous saya di kala presentation menjelang.
Sayang lebih laa! :-D
P/s: my feelings after presentation - refer to the pic below.
Satisfied, relieved.
Just like fireworks.
Assalammualaikum and Hi people!
It's 02:25 am and I'm still wide awake.
Oh yeah, I planned to update this blog about my Liverpool trip but hey, I just planned, didn't know my FB and Twitter time just flew away.
And here I am, trying to do my obligations towards my beloved blog.
Can't write on Liverpool trip as I can't think properly right now. Haaaa!
So, what shall I write?
About Aidiladha?
Nothing much.
There'll be a small gathering among Malaysians on Sunday.
Prayers and preaches? *sesuai ke word ni?* :-)
Oh yeah, I got myself a new phone casing for my SII.
I bought it because it is very cheap.
99pence and free delivery.
Nice, aite?
I think, this will be it.
Another random and meaningless entry.
:-)
Till then.
Thanks people!
P/s: that's the casing. Colourful aite? I'll try buying an elegant one next time. :-)
Assalammualaikum and Hi people!
Words and expressions have indeed failed me again.
Both this aspect failed me again today.
It's connected with feelings too.
Uh oh, this is just too complicated.
Initially, I considered myself innocent but seeing how things go, I, once again believe I'm guilty.
This isn't good people.
I don't understand how my brain works and how theirs work too.
Pressure increases and I feel more demotivated.
What shall I do?
Mode: Blur.
Thanks.
Assalammualaikum and Hi people!
It's been a while since I last posted here.
This is due to my reading week homework. *Boo Nad! You didn't read as much as you watch the drama*
Sigh. A bit disappointed with myself since I promised myself that I'll try my best to finish all my readings (2 articles and 4 novels) before Friday. Obviously, it is just a dream. Fuhhhh. At least, I've finished my article readings, aite?
Uh oh, there are moreeeeee.
Presentation and assignments.
You're doomed Nad. DOOMEDDDDDDDDDDD!
But thanks to Allah for giving me strength to read one of my Gothic novel, Frankenstein.
I thought it'd be boring but it turned out to be just fine.
I love it.
Mary Shelley wrote well.
:-)
Done with Volume I.
And that's why I decided to stop and spend my time here.
Did I inform you that I feel more comfortable updating my blog via phone. That's why you didn't see colourful words. ;-)
What else should I type?
Oh, the weather here is not being nice to us.
Raining and cold.
Seducing us to make love with our duvet. Heeee.
All in all, I kinda enjoy my Reading Week.
It's been a good one.
Hopefully, it will be better next time.
P/s: Aldiko has many free books to be read online. Best best! I've got Frankenstein on my shelf and I reckon there will be more books on my shelf in future. InsyaAllah.
P/s: Those are my handwriting during this rainy season. Macam cacing. :-D
Cheers.
Assalammualaikum and Hi people!
Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah.
Semua dah selesai dengan jayanya.
Officially, Peverell telah dihangatkan dengan kehadiran sahabat-sahabat dari Student Village, The Hoe, Teratak Datinz and The Mutleyiaannns. :-)
Thanks sebab sudi singgah ke teratak kami yang tak seberapa ni.
May Allah bless you always.
The event started early this week when we, the Peverellians discussed what to buy so on and so forth.
And the mission began.
Thanks to Mirah, Fariha, Rai and Ain sebab sudi pinjamkan Hoppa comel.
Very useful to bring 6 packets of rice, veggies and bawang and lain-lain lagi.
Thanks to Ada and Nik sebab datang awal dan buatkan pizza for the guests. Tak tidur malam la masing-masing dek teringatkan your super-delicious pizza.
Thank to Yah sebab tolong goreng-goreng. Terharu.
Thanks to Ummi and Aisyah for the banana cake and begedil yang extra sedapp.
Thanks to Aiman yang lead tadiii.
Hanya Allah saja yang mampu balas jasa kalian. *skema ayat*
Cooking session started Friday night lagi.
Sibuk blend cili, kupas and hiris bawang sampai menangis.
Goreng ikan bilis.
Buat kuah, adunan jemput-jemput and choc cornflakes.
And this morning, bertungkus-lumus masak nasi, rebus spaghetti, kemas laman belakang.
Credits to my beloved housemates; Hana, Jihah and Ayein. :-)
Sorry to all if aku terkasar bahasa or teroverreact.
Aku kan cepat gelabah.
Mungkin event ni mengajar aku untuk jadi lebih sabar?
Make sense ke?
Cuba cuba. :-)
Nevertheless, I'm extra happy to see familiar faces coming to our house and eating all the food. *terharu, tak sia-sia kami masak*
All of you are more than welcome to come to our house.
P/s: sorry, tuan rumah busy, tak boleh ambil gambar banyak-banyak and susunan gambar macam tak kena je. Sorry again.
P/s: thanks again from the bottom of my heart.
Assalammualaikum and Hi people.
Hari ini topic ialah words.
I wanna talk on how words can affect you, be it positive or negative ones.
I love soothing words, who doesn't?
But what if the words could kill you softly? Inside and out?
What will you do?
Phewww.
I experienced both today.
Mostly the negative ones.
Heartbreaking peeps when you just lose your motivation and will to carry on with your activities when someone ruined it, just for you.
I learned that I need to cope with it ASAP because it could cause me trouble if I keep going on.
When this happened, I can't focus and will feel scared. Adoii. Payahhh.
The positive ones?
It can make me smile all day long.
And I'll store it in my mind forever. :-)
Can you see the differences?
When we talk about negative aspect, we would have so much to tell, but the positive ones? Ermm
I think, I need to prepare mentally for those negatiVe words.
:-)
P/s: entry merapu before going to bed. Tergantung!
Thanks people.
Assalammualaikum and Hi people!
I'm on my way back to Plymouth from London.
Phewwww.
I went to Liverpool this weekend.
That one, I'll blog about it later.
But right now, I'm soooo bored that I decided to write a short entry.
About what?
Erm, my best friend yang sorang ni.
I mentioned about her numerous times in this blog and I never get bored of it.
Love her soo much.
*okayy, this sounds so wrong*
Siapa siapa?
Kalau betul, I belanja tap water exclusively from Peverell.
Haaaa, tentulah si Busuk Cici.
Actually, I went to Liverpool with her and my cousin.
Fuhhhh. A very short trip and a tiring one, I must say.
But, sebab ada good company, semua turned out to be good.
Okay, back to our main subject.
Cici, there's this one time in KMM tu, lagu Sempurna tengah hot kat radio, and both of us minat nak mati lagu tu, so everytime lagu tu on air, kami akan lari2 cari radio tuk dengar. So random la this statement.
And and I try to be in contact with her all the time.
As I tweeted, name all the communication items, we have it all.
*riak kejap*
And and she is always there and here for me.
Heeee.
All of my friends are, but since I'm talking bout her, puji-pujilah sikit mak cik ni.
Ci, thank you ye for being my sahabat baik.
InsyaAllah dunia akhirat.
Love you so stronggggg. :-)
P/s: latest pictures of Cici and please ignore my face. So weird. Hhahaa.
Thanks.
Assalammualaikum and Hi people!
This is my 2nd year as a TESL student.
What shall I feel about it?
Cuak ke?
Suka ke?
Actually, I'm nervous about it. I can't see myself doing all the readings and works.
I'm not as hardworking as before.
I can't even finish reading my reading. Hah!
How can I be a First Class degree student if I have this kind of attitude?
Oh myyyy.
It's scary at times when people put too much hope on you.
What if you failed?
Can you face them and say I'm sorry?
I don't think I can do it.
Uh oh, semangat rajin, sila datang sekarannggg.
Saya nak jadi Nadiah Sahum when she was a primary school student.
@_@
